A Quiet & Gentle Spirit...who me?!

 “Do not let your adorning be external—

the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, 

or the clothing you wear— 

but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart 

with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, 

which in God's sight is very precious.”  I Peter 3:3-4

“a gentle and quiet spirit”…what does this really mean? 
Do I need to be a silent doormat? 
Does God wish for all women to just be idle next to a husband? 
What if they never get married, will no one be their voice?

Phew…this verse could be taken down so many painful and hurtful paths, but I’d rather look at what it is actually trying to say…which is powerful and amazing!

The Greek word for “gentle” is praus which at best means “God’s strength under His control, meekness, demonstrating power without undue harshness.” {www.biblehub.com} In Priscilla Shirer’s book Resolution for Women she gives some additional definitions, “note to be overly impressed; to be humble; considerate; meek”. 

The Greek word for “quiet” is hesychois which means “well ordered, to lead a peaceable & discreet life; lightening the load”.

WHOA.  Can I get an AMEN that it does not imply or mean we are to be silent doormats??!! 

It actually would have shocked me if God’s Word had led his good, perfect creation to be contrary.  These two definitions go completely against what I thought this verse was about and adds a completely new dimension to which we are called to be like.  This is not a silly woman just waiting to be told what to do by her husband, again, it is a call to be a helpmate.  {Interesting side note, the same word used for helpmate in Genesis is equal to the word used to describe the Holy Spirit; whoa!}

Now, even though this realization of what these two words actually mean is great, it does not mean it is easy.  Remember Genesis 3 when God’s punishment for woman for her sinful behavior was how “your desire shall be for {against} your husband, and he shall rule over you.”?  Well, this will play against these two words in some very tough ways.  See, we now have this innate desire to control and it is directed to our husbands.  Single women, you are not off the hook.  We still have this innate desire to control but we are missing the element of a husband to lovingly push back the affects of the Fall alongside of us; we must push it back alone {and with the help of loved ones, friends and the church}.  Nevertheless it is not an easy task for either situation.  We want {need} control.  Because of Eve’s sinful act in the Garden, this desire has been intensified.  So, what are we to do?  Enter “quiet and gentle spirit”.  As I {we} continually submit to God’s rule and reign over our lives and strive to live according to His commands, we will push back the affects of the Fall in this area.  When we remind each other to be humble and considerate.  When we take seriously our role to be a helpmate and strive to lighten the load of others {male or female} we push back the affects and redeem what God’s good intention was from the beginning. 

I realize this is not easy and at times not very fun or pleasant, but according to God’s written Word, this is what He has directed us to do and who He has directed us to be!  Married or single, young or older…we must strive to have a quiet and gentle spirit.